Beginning My "Last Summer" Ever

Wow, I didn't realize that this is my last "Summer Vacation" ever until exactly when I was trying to think of a title for this blog post.

Depressing.

Then again I've never been one to look at a glass with 50% water and call it half empty. I typically fill it all the way up instead (though that's not the point I was trying to make). This summer is actually shaping up to be a good one; I've got my job back from last year except this time with two of my friends working alongside me, I've continued being health-conscious by riding my bike to and from work as well as working out in the weight room (though I still love eating slightly large portions), and this year my lovely fiancee works almost the exact same hours that I do (as opposed to the complete opposite like last summer).

Work productivity has never been so fun!

As for what this summer is leading to? I suppose next year will be my last year of school in the foreseeable future, and after that I have to start my life as a real adult with a real job and everything like that, but it doesn't worry me too much when I think about how fortunate I am to be able to share all of that with my fiancee. After all, we're planning to get married shortly after college, how can I not look forward to that? I proposed over a year ago!

Yes, I admit it scares the crap out of me to have no idea what my life is going to be like after college, but at least I've got a great network of friends and family who would all gladly lend a helping hand at a moment's notice. My best friend has already offered to let me stay at his place in the event that anything happens between my fiancee and I (don't worry, I haven't had to and don't plan on needing to), which is incredibly thoughtful.

Lastly, did I mention that to kick summer off with a bang my fiancee bought us two tickets to see one of my favorite bands, Eve 6, live next Wednesday? And then right after that we're off to go up north for a relaxing weekend at her family's cottage with one of the largest groups of family and friends that I've ever been among!

What's there to be scared of?
-Ryan

Love is Not a Choice

This past weekend a friend and work associate of mine enthusiastically detailed her plans to enjoy her birthday the following day. Among these plans, she stated that she was going to get a tattoo.
"Where and what?" I asked curiously.
"It's going to say 'love is a choice' really tiny on my wrist" she explained.
"I don't get it" I replied with a puzzled glance.
She then went on to explain that she believed it was the truth about love; that you don't just feel love for someone that lasts forever, it comes and goes and you have to choose whether or not to love somebody. And for some reason she felt so strongly about this that she felt it necessary to get it perminantly written on her wrist.
I replied with the first thought that came to me: "you've never been in love, have you?"

Time to get educational.

As someone raised on Catholic teachings, the idea of choosing to love is not a foreign concept to me. The Bible bombards us with messages like "love your neighbor even if they take a dump on your dog" and overall teaches to love people despite the dozens of reasons you don't want to. Let me distinguish this idea of love from LOVE.
The love that my friend had in mind was an action, not a feeling.
You can choose to show love, but you cannot choose to feel love. Similarly to friendship, it's not a decision you sit down and make a rational or logical choice about, it's a feeling, an instinct. My friend argued that there must be times when my fiancee and I are fighting that I do not like her but choose to love her. I say from experience that this is false. I love her no matter how things are between us, and there have even been times that I wished I could choose to not love her, but I can't help but care so deeply for her that I overcome my frustration.
I do not choose to love her, if anything I am choosing to give in to that love.

The moral of the story is as follows: don't get a tattoo with a phrase that represents your opinions of something, especially when it's something you've never experienced. Opinions change. I have a feeling that my friend will look at her tattoo many years in the future (and how can she not? It's right on her wrist) and while she may not regret getting it, it will be a constant reminder of her naivete.
You know what? I hope she changes her mind someday not only because I like to be right, but also because everyone deserves to know what real love feels like. The kind of love that's not an action, but a feeling. The kind of love that's not a choice.

~~Haiku Time!~~

Love is not a choice

You feel it within yourself

Someday you will see

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
-Ryan