The Events that Led Me Here

My parents and their neighbors across the street each got pregnant around the same time, and welcomed their newborn babies into the world mere days apart from one another.

That neighbor's daughter became my first friend. We remained friends through high school, occasionally hanging out and always chatting online.

One day she invited me to a little Halloween party she was throwing with some people from her school. I went to the party and found myself very attracted to one of the girls I met there, but she seemed indifferent and nothing seemingly came of our interactions.

A few months later, a different girl I'd befriended asked me to be her boyfriend, and I accepted. We "dated" for about three weeks before she broke up with me.

I called my first friend to tell her what happened. We got to talking a bout other things, and she mentioned that the girl from the Halloween party had been feeling pretty low lately. Remembering my attraction to this girl and wanting to help cheer her up, I told my friend to tell the girl from the party that I thought she was hot.

My first friend and I had a falling out soon afterwards, but the girl from the party is now my wife of five years and seven months ago we had our first baby together.

It's funny when you look back on the events that led me here. Make the slightest change to any of it and things might have turned out very differently for me.

My life has been an interesting 28 years so far, but I think the last 5 have been the best yet.

This is really just my long-winded way of saying— HAPPY FIFTH ANNIVERSARY TO MY AMAZING WIFE! Without you, I would be half the man I am today. I'm grateful for every day we have together, and there will never, ever be enough. You continue to surprise me with all the things I love about you, and I hope I can do the same for you. Always and forever. Everything's nothing without you.

Love,
Ryan

I Don't Have Time To Write This Blog Post

I don't have time to write this blog post.

No, seriously. I've got two or three drafts of other articles that are have just been sitting in my queue partially complete for months now. I totally intended to be blogging a lot more this year than I have been so far.

But I just don't have time.

Fortunately, the reasons I don't have time are pretty good ones. For instance, I've been busy working on the Barista Update for Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!!, and I actually got to go to Boston to show off the game with two other developers. In fact, one of my incomplete drafts is an outline for a post about that experience from my perspective, which took a back seat to co-writing an official blog post for the company on the same subject. I might still write something on that, since I've got more to say on it from a personal perspective, but right now I just don't have time.

Another reason I don't have time to write this blog post is that I've also been hired to work for the marketing company of one of the guys I met in Boston, so I've got even more freelance work to do in my otherwise free time.

Plus it's summertime, so I've got housework and yard work and I'd really rather just be outside enjoying the warm Wisconsin weather before life freezes over in a few months.

Oh yeah, and I spread myself really thin with personal projects such as editing hours of home videos, sorting through and touching up hundreds of photos, creating a follow-up to my Blade Runner Ambient Soundscape, writing stories, working on house projects, etcetera etcetera etcetera ...

But the main reason I have no time to write this blog post, or to do so many other things, is because my wife and I are expecting our first child in November.

Please understand: this isn't even an announcement. I've already announced this on other more popular social media platforms back in early May. I just need you to understand why I haven't been able to update this blog in a while, even though I've had every intention to. I just have so much going on right now that it's insane. I doubt taking care of a newborn is going to free up that schedule much, but I guess I can at least try to get as much of it done as possible before then.

Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't updated this as frequently as I normally do. Feel free to reach out to me on my new website if you really want to know what's going on in my life.

Cheers.
-Ryan

From 2016 to 2017 - Keeping the Momentum Going

Do you like this new graphic? I made it myself with a photo I took of my beautiful wife.

I felt like I should do some end-of-the-year blogging to get some closure on 2016 and publicly express my goals for 2017, especially after writing a lengthy post/essay titled "Spider-Man or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Reboot" that I then decided not to publish because it was basically just me telling the entire story of my love for Spider-Man and expressing my opinions (that nobody asked for) about the upcoming reboot film.

Concerning My 2016 Resolution

I don't actually remember my primary resolution for 2016, and looking back on last year's review, I didn't really state anything specific. Therefore I'm just going to assume my resolution was to complete the second draft of my novel, which I came very close but ultimately failed to do. I do remember, however, resolving to learn to meditate in 2016, which I did a little bit of throughout the year but not as much as I wanted to.

So what did I actually do this year, then? I read a lot more books (the entire Hitchiker's Guide series, several books in the Detective Bosch series, four books in the Series of Unfortunate Events, The Martian, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, and Childhood's End), watched a bunch of good movies for the first time (La La Land, Sunshine, 10 Cloverfield Lane, Good Will Hunting, The Revenant, the "Before" trilogy, Spirited Away, High Rise, Begin Again, Deadpool, Ghost in the Shell, There Will Be Blood, Victoria, Carol, Room, Sixteen Candles, Straight Outta Compton, Steve Jobs, Brick, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Memento, Sicario, A Scanner Darkly, Snowpiercer, and more), watched some good TV shows (Westworld, Stranger Things, Black Mirror, Game of Thrones, Better Call Saul, Parks and Recreation, etc), discovered some new music and played the occasional video game (mostly on Android).

I also lost my job, found a better one, got a new phone that lets me play Xcom anywhere, put up a fence in my back yard for my dog, started using Instagram, redesigned the blog to actually look like a writer's blog, started writing short stories based on writing prompts (one of which has gained enough attention for two individuals to ask me if they could adapt it into a short film), made new friends, reconnected with old friends, did a lot of hiking, tried out a few different haircuts, and lost 10 lbs.

2017 Resolutions

First and foremost, I really want to get the second draft of my novel finished and start sending it out to publishers. I'm really close thanks to NaNoWriMo, and I really only need to write the ending, rewrite a secondary character's arc, and punch up the humor and charisma in some parts.

Secondly, I just want to keep writing more, especially those writing prompts, and eventually put a few up on the website for public consumption.

Thirdly, ever since experimenting with mixing music again a few weeks ago and seeing the amazing film La La Land in theaters a few days ago with my wife, it's starting to look like I might finally be learning to play an instrument or two. You see, she grew up playing the violin and guitar, but after seeing Ryan Gosling in La La Land and learning that he trained himself in only three months she's been wanting to learn piano (and her parents have a beautiful one in their home that rarely gets used), and I grew up owning a guitar but not knowing how to play it and always wanted to learn to play the keyboard so I could make some music on the computer without relying entirely on pre-recorded loops. So I'll say my tertiary big goal of 2017 is to learn to play piano and/or guitar, but this just came up recently so we'll see if it really sticks.

Fourthly, I should probably continue to lose weight and get in shape. I did some pilates this year, which proved to be quite enjoyable and challenging, tried to get into a routine of exercising (beyond taking my daily walks) at least once a week, and made an effort to eat healthier or smaller portions, so more of that would be good. Now that the wedding has long passed, my biggest motivation to be healthy and in shape is that I want to be able to keep up and play with my future kids as much as possible.

Lastly, I really just want to keep trying new things in my area. For years, I was stuck in a rut of eating at chain restaurants, shopping at chain stores, and going to the same places to do the same old things, but this year my wife and I made a solid attempt of eating and shopping more locally, as well as visiting parks we'd never been to before and just overall trying to attend more community events like concerts, movies in the park, and beer gardens. More of that is always good fun.

And I still want to do more Tactical Laser Tag. Seriously, I only went once this year.

-Ryan

Homeownership!

Fantastic news! Today is the last day I'm not a homeowner!

My wife and I will be getting the keys to our first home together tomorrow evening, moving everything in on Saturday, sorting it all out on Sunday, and hopefully enjoying a relaxing day off of work on Monday.

Living in an apartment has been alright, but we've watched way too much HGTV to really enjoy it anymore. Three bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms, a medium-sized kitchen, a dining room, two-car garage, a large yard, and unfinished basement (which we, of course, intend to finish into an awesome den) await us in our new home. What's better is that, though we were willing to purchase something cheaper that could use some updating (so we could customize it to our wants and have a smaller mortgage), this place was not only in our budget, but had been recently "flipped" to include all new kitchen appliances, beautiful refinished original wood floors throughout, and basement walls that won't be shifting anytime soon.

While my wife is all excited about decking out the interior (and exterior, to add "curb appeal" as she puts it), I'm perhaps most excited to start practicing my recent interest in gardening. The biggest thing missing from being apartment-dwellers, after all, has been a yard to take care of, and the idea of little seeds producing edible food is like magic to me! Taking care of a peace lily in our apartment has been surprisingly fun, and I cannot wait to be able to grow even more plants!

Oh yeah, and until we start popping out children, which is a part of the long-term plan that this house gets us one step closer to, I get to have my very own office at home in which to write!

It feels a bit surreal that I'm already married and moving into a house, but I couldn't be more excited! After all, I'm fairly certain that I said I wanted to be "married and living in a house" in the ten-year goal I filled out in 8th grade (ten years ago) - or was it a five-year goal and I've just always been really, really eager?

Maybe I'll start blogging about my garden, or the patio we're going to build ASAP for the combined house warming/anniversary party we plan to throw, or other home-related things!

-Ryan

What is it Like Being Married?

As a newlywed of just over two months, I get asked a certain question quite a bit. Of course, sometimes the question is phrased slightly differently but it's ultimately the same question.

What is it like being married?

To be clear, the individuals asking me this question are not asking in the sense that a child might; blissfully unaware what a life commitment to someone else feels like. For the most part the people asking me are married themselves, and so the question boils down to several completely different questions such as:

• Do you regret getting married?
• Are you happy being married?
• Is it difficult being married?
• What has changed in the relationship?
• Does the relationship feel different than it did before?

The thing is that for my wife and I, marriage is no different than engagement was. We were engaged for three years, lived together for four, and had been together for six. All of the milestones that were expected of a traditional marriage had already been passed.

And isn't that the way it should be? One family friend of mine, after asking us this question and hearing our response, was genuinely surprised. But why should being married be any different than being engaged? Shouldn't we be just as emotionally and physically comfortable and committed to each other as we were the day before we said our vows? Why leave anything a surprise after we had been together and in love for so long? By experiencing everything in a relationship that we could with each other before marriage, we were that much more prepared to be with each other; our fears were settled when our separate lives mixed perfectly together, and when they didn't we worked hard to learn how to make them mix.

• We both like keeping our living space clean and tidy? Perfect!
• We have different preferences for how to spend our free time together? Okay, let's figure out a mutually beneficial compromise to avoid further conflict!

If nothing changed, what's the point?

I don't think I've actually gotten this question, but I'm sure there are some people who may think it, so I will address it thusly:

When I was young and did not understand homosexuality, I asked someone why a man would marry another man, "for the tax breaks, which is why they shouldn't be allowed to" they told me. Could the same be argued for my wife and I? Should we not have been allowed to marry simply because the only thing that changed was that we are now financially and legally responsible for each other? Were we wrong to want to marry simply because nothing in our relationship would change?

To digress for a moment; in my opinion, marriage is such an odd thing for the government to be involved with in the first place; as my wife and I signed up for our marriage license I couldn't help but wonder what business the government had why people got married? Does it really make a difference if they're not man and woman, in love, and living and sleeping in separate bedrooms?

In our case, we married not only for the tax breaks, but also for the symbolic gesture of committing our lives to each other. We have made a loud and clear statement in front of all of our family and friends that we will be monogamous to each other and care and love for each other for as long as we live. We married to celebrate and reaffirm the promises we have made to each other every day. That was the point.

Aren't you missing out on something?

Not even in the slightest. I've got everything I could want out of marriage; a fantastic party I'll remember forever, a ring on my finger, a new perspective on our relationship, and all the legal stuff that comes with it.

Honestly when I consider the relationship I have with my wife and compare it to others that I know, I'd say that I've got it even better than most do. Corey and I are not only husband and wife, but we're best friends. We rarely argue, we never get tired of "hanging out" with each other, we can rely on each other when we need each other the most, we still surprise each other with how in sync our thoughts are at times, and overall we make each other's lives much easier to live and deal with than anyone else.

I've met people who talk about having a "love/hate" relationship with their spouse, people who don't talk to their spouse for hours on end out of spite, and married couples who seem to get along fine but don't show any sign of the "spark" that some don't even believe exists. None of those applies to me. When I think about the relationship I have with my wife, I can easily relate it to the best of marriages that you see in the movies; the ones that are supposed to be works of fiction. Granted we have our share of issues, but the positives so much outweigh the negatives that they seem to not exist at all most of the time.

In short, my wife is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and asking her to marry me was the smartest thing I've ever done.
-Ryan

Wait, what do you mean by "a new perspective on our relationship"?

Sorry, you're right; I didn't explain that. While nothing has physically changed in our routines and lives, I must admit that I feel a bit different since getting married.

I feel like a wolf.

What I mean is that, like a wolf, I have chosen a mate for life and I feel a strong natural urge to protect and care for my pack.

-Ryan

Update September 2, 20141: Since publishing this post it has been brought to my attention that wolves do not always mate for life. I feel like one of the wolves that do.

My Wedding: The Honeymoon

[This post is part 4 of a multi-part series about my wedding. You can read about the rehearsal here, the  morning of the wedding here, and the wedding itself here.]

With the long-awaited wedding over, and after a day to rest and open up our gifts, my wife and I set out to the next step; the honeymoon.

Our original plan when we first talked about going on a honeymoon was to save money by taking a road trip within the continental United States. We assumed it would be fun, inexpensive, and a great way to start our long-term goal of visiting each state together. Maps and tourist guides were bought, hotels were researched, and we were just about to book our stay at one with  the ultimate goal being to end up in North Carolina (which has been a fantasy of Corey's for quite some time partially thanks to Nicholas Sparks books).

Just before booking the hotel, we realized that the whole process was just too stressful, too expensive, and too small. We found ourselves having to calculate distances between towns and gasoline consumption, subtracting hours of fun because of driving time, and not wanting to worry about all of that when the time came.

"Why don't we just find an all-inclusive resort for the same amount of money, spend it all at once, and not worry about that sort of thing for a second during the trip?" I suggested. Corey rolled her eyes at me because this had actually been her original plan. She was always more interested in the idea of sitting on a beach somewhere, but I had said "no" to that idea because I thought it would be too boring.

So what changed my mind? Stress and finances had only dictated that I did not want to go on such an intricate road trip for what was meant to be a fun and romantic honeymoon, but what had made me want to go to a beach?

The winter of 2013 was a long and record-breaking cold one. That's what.

Before long we had decided (with the help of a travel agent suggested by a friend) to go to the Ocean Maya Royale resort in Riviera Maya, Mexico. We chose the location because it is adults-only, smaller, and less expensive than others, so with the money we saved on the location we bumped ourselves up to the "privileged" package.

It was the first time that either of us had been to an all-inclusive resort, as well as the first time either of us had flown on an airplane (which turned out to not be scary except for the scary parts). The resort was beautiful. Not too large, but not too small either. They had multiple restaurants, each with their own theme and menu, and they had multiple activities throughout the day which ended with a show and then dance party at the end of the night.

We signed up for two excursions; ATV ride/tour and a full-day visit that was split between the Tulum ruins and Xel-Ha natural water park.

We purposely scheduled the excursions for the middle of our week-long stay so that we could spend the first and last days relaxing, which included a couple's massage on the first day and a private dinner on the beach on one of the last.

Part of the privileged package included meals at certain restaurants which were closed to everyone else, wine and chocolate-covered strawberries at our room upon arrival, and (our personal favorite) a private section of the beach with comfortable furniture, shade, and an exclusive waiter/waitress for drink orders.

Over the course of that week we each tried things that we'd never done before. We snorkeled with fish (I'm quite scared of fish), tried all sorts of food (why not try it when it's all included?), got the aforementioned couple's massage, and both realized we're quite fond of daiquiris.

So much happened that it's honestly too much to sum up into one blog post. There was a lazy river, a chocolate martini-induced iguana sighting, a lot of Italian food, a finger-painter, a Grease show, more delicious food than I can recall, beautiful blue water, baby deer, a guarded bridge to a beautiful inlet, a waterproof camera, and a lizard on our ceiling.

On our last night (after the lizard), we reconnected with a couple that we'd met on the first day when getting our massage, and ended up staying up late hanging out, talking, and drinking with them until the wee hours of the night rather than turning in early as we had been for the rest of the week. They seemed legitimately bummed that we were leaving the next day, since they were staying for a whole extra week.

Of course, we were even more bummed to be leaving. The honeymoon was more relaxing than anything else either of us had ever experienced before, and we found ourselves making mental lists of all the things we would do should we (hopefully) return. I would highly suggest this type of honeymoon to anyone, as well as the Ocean Maya Royale resort itself.

And yes, we really should return.

-Ryan

My Wedding.

[This post is part 3 of a multi-part series about my wedding. You can read about the rehearsal here, the  morning of the wedding here, and the honeymoon here.]

Above is the last text I sent before my wedding officially began. With my wife-to-be hiding in a shed behind the entrance of the gazebo, my groomsmen and I made our way outside to the wedding space. We were stopped only for a few minutes to give people time to sit down as well as us time to get our boutonnières put on. The nerves had finally started to hit me as the realization started to sink in.

Positioning myself behind the closed gate I was to walk through, I awaited the musical cue. Rather than a traditional wedding ceremony song, we had chosen "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri. In the days and months leading up to the wedding I had expressed concern that the song would come off sounding silly, since it was composed for and used in one of the Twilight movies. It was my feeling that you shouldn't use a song popularized by a movie, because then everyone is just going to be thinking "they picked that song just because they heard it in that movie" rather than admiring the beautiful lyrics or music.

Whether or not someone was thinking that I cannot know, but I know that Twilight was the furthest thing from my mind when the music kicked in and the gates opened. Upon seeing the beautiful space and all the smiling and eager faces of my friends and family, my eyes almost immediately swelled up with tears of joy. I tried my best to keep a smiling face, but my emotions fought me every step of the way. I even whispered to the judge when I had gotten to the front that "I'm already crying."

After the bridesmaids and groomsmen took their positions, Corine emerged from the shed, though she was concealed by the now closed gate. One of the traditions that we had decided to keep for our wedding was that I would not see her wedding dress until the wedding itself. This was much easier said than done, especially since she bought the dress over a year before the wedding. I waited in anticipation; seeing only the white color of the dress through the gate. I couldn't help but wonder what type of dress she had picked, how it looked on her, and if I would be as emotionally impacted by the sight of her as everyone said I would (and should) be.

Of course, I was emotionally impacted by the sight of her. How could I not be? She could have been wearing a bathrobe and sweatpants and it still would have tug at my heart to see my bride walking toward me. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her wedding dress. I was absolutely in tears by the time the ceremony began.

A Brief Overview of the Ceremony:

• The ceremony started out with the judge introducing herself and passing around a small bag with the rings inside of it for the guests to hold and wish good luck upon while the ceremony went on.
• There was then a rose ceremony in which Corine and I each presented a rose to our parents as a symbolic thanks for their unconditional love and support.
• Corine and I then held hands while the judge performed a hand blessing. The original intent of this particular part was for it to be an Irish hand blessing which involves literally tying a knot around our interlocked hands, but there was some miscommunication and a different hand blessing was performed, though I didn't notice or care.
• The expression of intent came next, where the judge asked us each if we would take each other as husband and wife, and we (of course) responded "I will."
• The vows, which we had written ourselves.
• The rings were then collected from the guests for the ring exchange.
• We ended with a sand ceremony, in which we mixed two separate vials of colored sand into a single container to represent the blending of our lives together and that as hard as it would be to separate our individual grains of sand, so too would it be that hard for us to break our loving bond.

The vows in particular were tearjerkers for both she and I. Saying something that comes from the heart and is very personal to your relationship is just so much more meaningful than any pre-written vow could ever be. The personal vows were also, in my mind, symbolic of the effort we were trying to make to make the wedding truly our own. Before our wedding day we had some people express worry that we weren't going to have a "traditional" wedding (traditional wedding song, at a church, etc.), but when it was all said and done we had relatives and friends coming up to us and telling us that it was "the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen."

On a slight sidenote, I think people are so wrapped up in what they think a wedding "should" be that they become closed-minded to the idea that anything else can be as beautiful. The truth is that anything unique to your personality is going to be much more beautiful than a carbon copy of something that's been done thousands of times before. I highly suggest to anybody reading this that they go the extra mile to make their wedding unique and personal. It makes a hell of a difference.

After finishing the ceremony and taking some photos, it was time to make our way to the reception space, which was conveniently halfway to the hotel from the gazebo. We'd rented out the detached pavilion (complete with an open bar) on the property of the hotel.

From then on was visiting with the guests, cutting the cake, dinner (the highlight being a cashew crusted chicken with maple cream sauce), and speeches. Each member of the wedding party gave a speech, including my wife (which I wasn't expecting). Even my older brother, who is generally a very quiet person, gave a speech, which was very meaningful to me that he would even consider standing up and speaking in front of a crowd.

After literally everyone gave a speech except me, a table with some of my family members started chanting my name and asking for me to give a speech as well, so of course I improvised something along the lines of "I don't know what to say except thank you".

Even after all of that was said and done, I was extremely nervous. I had been drinking a little bit to calm my nerves, but I was also being careful to maintain a very low level of drunkenness (almost nonexistent, actually). The reason for this is that our first dance was still to come, and we had been taking lessons for a little over a month in preparation. We didn't have a "routine" per se, but we did have a handful of moves that we would then improvise the order of based on the space of the dance floor and the timing of the music.

Luckily everything went very well. Our song "I'll Be (Acoustic Version)" by Edwin McCain proved to be a good choice, and even though I stepped on Corine's dress two or three times (we hadn't practiced with such a long dress) when I look back at the video footage it's impossible to notice; we played it off like pros.

Immediately after the first dance and father-daughter dance were finished I unbuttoned my vest, went to the bar, and ordered a stronger drink. The rest of the night was an amazing blur of dancing and wild fun with everyone young and old. Even my grandfather, who is in his 80's and was recently in the hospital, got onto the dance floor and had a great time. Honestly when I look back at the photos I can see that everyone had a good time, and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

At the stroke of midnight, my wife and I thanked our DJ (who did an absolutely amazing job playing to the crowd, which was no small feat considering the huge age range) then made our way to our hotel room where we relaxed in the hot tub for half an hour before going to bed, absolutely exhausted from the amazing wedding.

Luckily, the fun didn't stop there. Our week-long honeymoon was yet to come.
-Ryan

My Wedding: The Morning Of

[This post is part 2 of a multi-part series about my wedding. You can read about the rehearsal here, the wedding itself here, and the honeymoon here.]

The above tweet was sent at 6:00 AM on the morning of my wedding. I was actually still asleep when it was sent, as I used a program/website called HootSuite to schedule it to post ahead of time. In reality, I woke up at around 6:45 AM in a hotel room with my best friend/best man, brother/groomsman, and friend/gatekeeper. I was the first to awake, as evidenced by the loud snoring of the gatekeeper that sounded more like it was being produced by an industrial machine rather than a living human, (earlier in the night I'd also heard him speak some gibberish in his sleep).

Too excited to stay put, but too considerate to wake up the others, I snuck out of the room. I glanced at the doors of my wife-to-be's room and that of my in-laws (the governor's suite and base of operations for the weekend) to see that neither was wedged open. Realizing that it was almost time for the continental breakfast, and thinking it might be romantic to bring a treat or two to my love, I wandered down the quiet and mostly empty halls of the hotel toward where I recalled the breakfast being served from a previous stay.

Though it was about five minutes before I expected it to be served, there was no evidence of a breakfast or preparation for one. I later found out that they did not serve their continental breakfast on weekends, but in the meantime I headed back to the rooms, hoping to find someone else awake.

My father-in-law-to-be was in the hallway leaning against a window. He told me that my bride had called him and that she was going to be out of her room any minute now to join him for the continental breakfast.

Joined by a few others, we realized that the continental breakfast wasn't going to happen, and instead made our way to the hotel restaurant to see if we could pick up some coffee and breakfast treats to take back to the room. Instead, all of us ended up eating a sort of pre-breakfast, fully intending to arrive later with more people for the actual breakfast (and eat some kringle we'd brought in the meantime as well).

After everyone else woke up, we had our real, full breakfast, then talked about going to check out the hotel's water park. Unfortunately there was some miscommunication which prevented me from joining the others at the waterpark in time. Admittedly, I got so annoyed that I made a small scene when I finally got to the water park just a few minutes before everyone else decided it was about time to leave, but I lightened up and was able to go down a water slide and enjoy the hot tub.

Next, it was time to get ready. At least for the ladies. Us guys had to vacate our room and find something to do until it was time for us to get ready, since it would be much, much quicker for us to do so.

The hotel provided a complimentary hospitality suite intended to let the bridal party prepare, but since they'd taken over the governor's suite, we decided ahead of time that us guys would use it, until it turned out to be a pathetically worthless room.

Luckily my groomsmen had already picked up the keys to their room for that night, so after using the shower in the complimentary room, we ditched it and instead put our tuxedos in their hotel room. We then discussed what to do with all of our spare time.

Logically, we decided to check out the arcade.

It was fun at first, but the arcade was small and mostly filled with coin-guzzling games that we were too smart to fall for (and probably too mature to play). We grew tired of it pretty quickly (and got two child-sized tiara's for the bridal party with our tickets) and intended to go to the bar for a drink, snack, and good times, but were persuaded to go back to the arcade when we discovered that one of the matrons-of-honor had been holding out on us; she had two coupons for a bunch of free coins for the arcade.

This is where I feel we failed, especially compared to the girls. We made our way back to the arcade, which we were already bored with, simply because we'd run into a bunch of free coins. From the moment we stepped back inside I should have turned back around, since I felt overwhelmed with boredom from the start, but my need to take advantage of what I perceived to be a good deal overwhelmed my better senses, and no one else spoke up. We tried to find fun, and while some was had, it was mostly futile. We ended up trying to figure out which machines would likely give us the most tickets, got them as quickly as possible, then checked out what we could get with them. When our best prize turned out to be a miniature football (about the size of a normal golf ball), we instead decided to give our tickets to the nearest child in the area (with permission from his parents). We then made our way to the room to get dressed.

The girls, on the other hand, had the entire governor's suite to themselves complete with music, snacks, and drinks. From the photos that I've seen, I suspect that they had more laughs and good times than us guys did. We should have went to the bar, or anywhere else but the arcade.

Overall, the morning of the wedding was a bit disappointing for me (considering how upset I got about the miscommunication as well as the poor decision-making on my part). I recall feeling this way in the moment, but not being smart enough to do anything about it, and I still feel this way now.

Luckily, the morning of the wedding was the only part of that day that was sub-par. I'm fortunate enough to be able to say that it's the only part of the day that I wish had gone differently. We even realized the error in not having anything to eat since breakfast, and feebly ate some cold leftover french fries from the night before. I'm sure that will be an interesting story for later, but again, it's kind of a pathetic way of spending my last hours before my wedding.

Luckily, I was mere moments away from the best day of my life.
-Ryan

My Wedding: The Rehearsal

[This post is part 1 of a multi-part series about my wedding. You can read about the morning of the wedding here, the wedding itself here, and the honeymoon here.]

There is just so much to tell about my wedding and honeymoon that I'm going to have to split it up into multiple blog posts in order to do it justice. With this post I will tell you all about the day before the big day.

Friday morning, just after I awoke, I turned to the girl next to me and instinctively held her close. A moment after the haze of morning cleared my head, I had a realization that filled my heart with glee; it was the last day I would spend as a single man. It was the day before the biggest day. Excited, I held her even tighter against me, feeling the warmth of her body mix with mine, and whispered "we're getting married tomorrow."

It was a time to celebrate, even if there was no time to do so. We had breakfast while we watched the news together (to ensure that Saturday would be warm with clear skies), showered, got dressed, then immediately set out on packing for our stay that night at the hotel where we were to be wed. I found packing for that night less complicated than packing for a week-long honeymoon, but a bit more stressful. Thinking ahead for a week while not accidentally packing something I'll need tomorrow I've done before, but packing everything I'll need for my wedding weekend had me worried at every turn that I'd forgotten some vital thing and not be able to send for it when needed.

After calming down enough to complete the packing, there were errands to run such as getting a few snacks and, more importantly, the roses that we would present to our parents during the ceremony. Eagerly I made an announcement on Facebook that there was only one day left and that I would be Tweeting updates throughout the weekend if I found time to do so. Before 1:00pm we were out the door.

The errands went smoothly at first, until we were to meet her parents (and my to-be in-laws) at their house to go to the hotel together. We ran into four different road blocks on our way; construction, a police-blocked intersection, a truck double-parked on a street only wide enough for two cars, and two women standing in the middle of an intersection having a chat (a good way to get run-over, and they stayed in the street after barely moving out of our way).

Somehow we arrived early, which gave me time to eat some lunch and tweet how I felt at the time. There was no panic or fear; I was about to get married to the girl I'd been with for over six years and living with for three, what is there to fear about being married to your best friend?

We all hit the road and headed to the hotel. Check-in time was fast approaching, and we needed all the time we could get to unpack and hopefully be able to set up some of the decorations. Excitement and anticipation hung thick in the air, especially when we saw the governor's suite room that my to-be in-laws were using as a sort of base of operations for the weekend. As should be expected, my bride-to-be was served at bent knee and kept out of the way of anything that might harm her. This included, apparently, her matron of honor wheeling her around on the Bellman Cart we borrowed from the hotel:

Fun was had, but it was time for business. We talked to the wedding planner who informed us that she was so confident in clear skies that we were allowed to set up for our reception in the pavilion right then and there rather than having to try to fit it into the morning of.

The space looked beautiful even with almost none of the decorations up. The hotel staff were nice enough to set up the tables and chairs complete with covers and table runner, as well as the leafy-burlap that hung from the head table where I would eventually sit. Seeing the space was the first time that it really struck me what was going on. I was about to get married!

After putting up as many of the decorations that we could (just about all of which were homemade), it was time to go rehearse and then have dinner.We all went to our separate rooms, and I was faced with the difficult task of picking which of the two ties I had brought to wear that night. Thankfully I was in a room with both my groomsmen and one of our gatekeepers, so I asked their advice, and chose the blue, patterned one over the grey, plain one.

We made our way to the gazebo to quickly practice our moves twice, and again I was struck by the sheer beauty of the space at which we were to be wed. It was even better than I remembered; it was perfect.

And, of course, my bride-to-be looked absolutely stunning in the dress she'd picked just for that night, and it turned out to be a wise decision that I went with the blue tie. We had our families take a handful of photos of us before we made our way to the rehearsal dinner.

When we arrived at the location of our rehearsal dinner (the nice restaurant inside the hotel), we were surprised to find that they'd reserved three large circular tables for us in the conference/ballroom across the hall from the actual restaurant. It was odd, because the three tables (which seated a few more people than we actually brought) were spaced apart. At first we tried to work with it; picking one of the three tables with whomever we preferred to sit with, but it didn't feel right. Here we were; about to celebrate the joining of two families and sitting at separate tables! Luckily the waitresses didn't have a problem with us bringing all three tables together, and the night continued.

My wife-to-be and I thanked everybody for coming then handed out our wedding party's gifts. My best man got a glass beer stein etched with his initials large on one side and "BMF" small on the other (which stands either for "Best Man Forever," or perhaps is a reference to a certain Tarantino movie) with a modest bottle of cider ale. My groomsman (and brother) got a glass coffee mug with his initials etched large on one side and "BRO" small on the other (which stands for, of course, "brother") with a few packets of assorted coffee.

Both of the matrons-of-honor received matching heart-shaped jewelry boxes with a personal message inside, as well as jewelry that my wife-to-be made for them, in addition to a bottle of wine for each.

Not too long after the gifts were done, food came as well. Everything was delicious (though one or two people were disappointed with the fish they ordered), and most people ate their fill with no room for dessert.

We continued the celebration in the governor's suite where we had drinks and snacks with even more wedding guests that had arrived at the hotel. Before I knew it, the date on my phone read "June 14th, 2014" and I knew I would be smart to call it a night. Shortly after midnight, the bridal party went their separate ways; the guys to their room and the girls to theirs, where we slept heavily until the following morning; the morning of the day I was to finally marry the love of my life.

It still hadn't registered in my head what was finally happening, yet I couldn't have been more excited.
-Ryan

Things Just Got Real

The fact that the wedding is fast approaching now seems more real than ever.

This past Friday, my wife-to-be and I performed our wedding dance routine for a crowd of students at the dance studio where we've been taking lessons. It went off without a hitch, and was incredibly fun! Our "routine" doesn't actually have a step-by-step plan, and is instead a collection of moves we've learned in tune to our song that we improvise by me leading her and signaling what to do next, complete with a beginning and ending. Given this, it was awesome to be able to adapt to the space we had and prove to ourselves that we could make the dance look fluid.

Then on Saturday and Sunday we were nonstop prepping for the wedding and honeymoon. We went shopping for this week's groceries, as well as for last-minute supplies for the honeymoon, and even got around to doing some packing.

I'll say it again; the fact that the wedding is fast approaching seems more real than ever. It seems to be all we talked about all weekend. We managed to carve out a bit of time to go out to lunch together, but even then the conversation barely took more than a step away from talking about the big day. We'd wake up and our first words to each other would be along the lines of "less than a week away!" and "I can't believe we're finally getting married! It's about time!" Even while we sat on the couch at night watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones, we'd occasionally look at each other, smile, cuddle even closer, and tell each other how much we love each other and how excited we are.

I think it's safe to say that this next Saturday is going to be one of the best days of my life.
-Ryan

Ten Days till the Wedding!

The day is getting closer! In only ten short days I'll be marrying my high school sweetheart, my college girlfriend, and best friend all wrapped up into one!

I absolutely cannot wait! Sure, there have been bumps in the road over the past six years, but I cannot think of anyone else I'd rather promise to share my life with.

I have so much more to blog about, but right now none of that seems nearly as important.
-Ryan

Countdowns and Haircuts and Vows ... Oh My!

As I write this, the countdown timer on my blog informs me that I have 16 days and a handful of hours until I get married. We've been engaged for about three and a half years, so it's quite surprising for the date to finally be so close, but I've got to say I'm more excited than ever!

As far as last-minute tasks and errands go, there really aren't many. My wife-to-be and her mother have been so ahead of schedule and on top of things that they've already got everything done and ready to go! This has been especially awesome since my wife-to-be just got a new job with full time hours (whereas she was working part time before, which gave her more time to prep for the wedding).

One thing I just did to prepare was get my hair cut by the woman my wife-to-be gets her hair cut by. Typically I'll go to whatever haircut chain is closest or cheapest; but their work, while not bad at all, leaves something to be desired. For my wedding haircut I wanted to go to someone I knew and trusted who I had high confidence in. I may not have a lot of hair, but that doesn't detract from the fact that it is capable of making me look like a homeless hipster. Our wedding is neither hipster nor homeless themed.

The result is great! Wanting to indulge in this one bit of personal appearance was worth it, despite costing about twice as much as I usually pay. I would post a photo, but you'll just see it when I post a wedding photo or two. I'll probably end up going to the same person again from now on, because frankly I was getting sick of going home after a haircut and feeling the need to take scissors to it myself.

The most important last-minute task, however, is our vows. Being that I'm a writer, I demanded that we write our own rather than using some insert-name-here vows that only generically pertain to us. The pressure was immediately on for her, who volunteered to read her vows first so that they wouldn't sound "poor in comparison" after mine. I have no doubt that hers will be spectacular, but she insists that she won't be able to accurately and romantically describe her feelings for me.

Honestly, she's not the only one. Just because I'm a writer and have a good sense for how to write a good speech, I'm not automatically carefree that I'll be able to write something perfect for that all-too-important moment in my life. If anything, I can feel myself and others holding me to a higher standard because of my love of writing. I want something meaningful, personal, romantic, and for it to be the perfect length and pace.

How on earth can anyone do that? How can I possibly put into words how I feel and what I promise to this girl that I've been with for six years and have fallen in love with time and time again?

Then again, she inspires my like nobody else.
-Ryan

Begin The Countdown!

With 35 days left, now is as good a time as any to start counting down to my wedding. Mind you that we've been engaged for three years now, and she's been counting down since we set the date, so I'm a bit late by comparison.

I've added a countdown to the top of my blog so that you can count down to the big event with me! The time of day may not be exact, but when all of those numbers become zeroes, I'll be married to my high school sweetheart and college fiancée!

I've got to say, there were times that I was feeling a slight pinch of nervousness, but lately I've been nothing but excited for the big day. All the plans are coming together, invites are coming in (though a lot of people have neglected to send any response and will be getting phone calls), and the date is fast approaching. I can't wait!

That's all I really wanted to say.
-Ryan

My Bachelor Party

My bachelor party was this past Saturday, and I thought I'd share with you how it went.

The night consisted of a private 1.5 hour session of tactical lazer tag, followed by drinks, food, and games at my best man's house.

Firstly, let me clear up what I mean by "Tactical Lazer Tag." Many people (including several in my party) were under the impression that it would be a silly, childish game with "pew pew" noises and neon lights. I wonder where they got that idea from?

(How I Met Your Mother, copyright CBS)

It's nothing like that. We went to CMP Tactical, which is a bit more like this:

(CMP Tactical Lazer Tag)

Without getting too much into how it works, the simple fact is that everything was made to simulate a realistic tactical gun combat experience. From the weight of the guns, to the sound of a bullet casing bouncing on the ground after the initial sound of a gunshot, everything was grounded in reality. We played five different game modes (one we played twice since we had extra time), and some personal highlights include me capturing the flag for my team, as well as being the last man standing in a mode in which my team had no respawns, but the opposing team did. I had an incredible moment where I was crouched in a corner, shot an enemy, and had to reload as I heard someone coming up behind me. Immediately after my reload was complete (it takes a few seconds) my best man came up from the corner behind me and met his end. If I'd reloaded a second later, I'd have been dead.

After all was said and done, everyone had a fantastic time. All of the skeptics who thought the experience would be silly and lame were convinced otherwise. Best of all was that our teams were each a good mix of people who'd never met.

One of my goals for the bachelor party was to get all the guys to bond with each other so that, come the time of my wedding, they won't feel like they don't know anyone (I had a mix of friends from high school, college, work, and even my and the best man's fathers, most of whom had never met each other before). I'm confident that the bachelor party has ensured that the wedding will be even more enjoyable for the guests.

Food and drinks afterwards went well. I remember most of it, but there was a trivia game which required me to drink a shot if I got the question wrong, and drink a shot if I got it right. Needless to say I quickly became a blubbering mess with my emotions all over the place. There are videos of me, but I don't have the heart to watch them, especially since I can honestly say I've never been "wasted" drunk before then. On that note, I can also say that I've now experienced a real hangover, unlike the mild ones I'm used to.

Perhaps the most interesting event of the night was actually internal, rather than external. Having been with my wife-to-be for six years, I've gotten quite used to her being around. People talk about their bachelor parties being a "last hurrah" or a "goodbye to their manhood," but although I had a lot of fun, there were several points in the night that I found myself wishing she were with me. I don't see marriage as the end of anything, because I'm marrying my best friend, and the coolest person to be with. This mentality, combined with many nice words and wishes from my guests (including from my brother-in-law-to-be, who said he was proud of me and that I was "part of the family"), has only strengthened my resolve to be married to my high school sweetheart.

And I will be, in only 47 days.

-Ryan

One Year from Today

Today is a special day, because a year from today will be the most special day of my life.

Guys are allowed to get sentimental about weddings, too, you know.

I met my fiancée over five years ago, and we were just in high school at the time. All the statistics in the world told us that we'd remain high school sweethearts, and our future together would consist only of fond memories of our foolish teenage love.

Here's exactly what we looked like
on the night we met. True love?

We've never really felt like we were part of the majority. We always felt like the exception, not the rule.

"Everyone feels that way," my friends would tell me, "you won't last through your first year of college. You shouldn't even be going to the same college, one of you is going to resent the other for it." It's true that our first two years of college were perhaps the worst in all five so far, but we made it through, because each of us felt a pull that we couldn't deny. Even when I failed her, my fiancée gave me another chance, knowing me better than anyone else and trusting that deep down I really wanted to and was capable of doing better for her. Even when we were uncertain of our feelings for each other, we trusted our love.

This is not a method that usually works for people. At the risk of sounding like a dork while quoting Nine Inch Nails; love is not enough.

You need to be willing and capable of working through the rough times, and even then, you may realize that you just don't work together. Love is a complicated feeling that doesn't always pull us in the right direction.

But when it does, boy is it worth it! I write this one year before I get married to the young woman I've loved since she was an awkward teen, and I can confidently say that I love her now more than ever, and am so proud of the woman she's grown up to be. The qualities I loved about her from the very beginning are still there in her, but over the years she's changed in ways that have made me love her even more.

Here's to the day that comes a year from now; my wedding day!
-Ryan